Bridges

"May the bridges you must burn light a flame for a brighter future."

Rocky

Here's some familiar motivation for your Friday!

"You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!--Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth."
-From Rocky Balboa's classic speech

50 Lessons of 2012

1. Save your money. You never know what could come up at what time.
2. It's OK to put your dog down as devastating as it is. All dogs go to heaven, and I would never want my dog to suffer a long, painful death before getting there.  
3. Puppies make you happy. 
4. Family are a blessing. They have seen your best and your worst, and they're still your family. 
5. Friends should bring out the best in you. If not, re-evaluate your friendships.
6. Your significant other should, also, bring out the best in you.
7. Be slow to speak and quick to listen as much as possible.  (I know, it's hard.)
8. Swallow your pride.
9. You are not perfect, stop trying to be or seem so. 
10. Make sure you check who you are sending a text to, before you send it to the wrong person.
11. Put your phone away on a date, at dinner with your fam, and when you go to sleep. 
12. Relax.
13. It's OK to be unavailable to your cell phone and available to the people you are spending time with. 
14. When picking out heels, make sure you can dance in them. You won't look like you're doin' the stanky leg the whole night. 
15. Drinking enough to puke is not fun, and not attractive. (I know, what a change from college.)
16. Your parents and grandparents DO know what they're talking about. 
17. Find a hobby and stick to it. Ex. Workout class at your gym, biking, train to run a marathon, collect rocks, read every Cosmo for that year-basically whatever floats your boat.
18. From The Happiness Project: Act the way you want to feel. Still learning this, but it's so true.  If you're feelin' cruddy, there's no reason to drag anyone else down with you. You will sleep better knowing you didn't let your negativity get the best of you or anyone else. Act happier than you feel, and you will, in return, feel happier.
19. Make sure you see a future in your career. If you are working a job that feels pointless and unproductive to you, chances are it probably is. Find a career YOU are HAPPY with. And you will be happier. 
20. Take care of yourself. Getting sick is never fun. Drink that OJ, and eat well. 
21. Think before you act. (...another simple one that is still tough.)
22. Make time for yourself. This should be a PRIORITY!
23. Set long-term and short-term goals.
24. You ARE enough.
25. Keep in touch with friends-distant or close.
26. Do not be afraid to fall in love and set your life off track. Love is meant to do that. (Eat, Pray, Love)
27. Do not push away your significant other. That person is ON YOUR SIDE.
28. Lying gets you nowhere.
29. Accept your imperfections.
30. It is important to believe in something.
31. Your socks don't have to match.
32. Try to refrain from gossip whenever you can. Gossip is basically murder to your friendships and relationships. 
33. It's OK to want more money.
34. Pick a close friend or family member that you can fully trust and rely on. That's the person to vent to-not the whole world. 
35. Your business is your business. Keep it to yourself. 
36. Take pictures of anything you find beautiful.
37. Show up. A majority of being a good friend, good acquaintance, and a good family member is showing up.
38. Birthdays do count. If anything, make sure to share birthdays with as many friends and family members as you can. 
39. Send Christmas cards-a nice, simple way to keep in touch with those who are far away. (Your address book and Christmas card list will grow every year.)
40. Speak and think of the past as a previous chapter in your life, not a burden you are carrying around. It's over. Move on.
41. You are the source to your own happiness.
42. When someone hurts you with words, take those words into consideration, and turn them into something positive. 
43. Accept where you are in your life, and don't wish to be anywhere else.
44. Own your mistakes, but do not hold onto them. 
45. When you dress yourself in the morning, wear your style, not anyone else's.
46. Listen to what you feel. (...unless it's that time of the month.)
47. Learn how to cook foods you've never cooked before. 
48. It's OK to splurge on yourself at the mall from time to time. 
49. Smile more, have a bad attitude less.
50. You are alive, and that's reason enough to keep going. 

I could go on for days. 2012 has been a tough reality check for me in many ways. I've learned A LOT, and I'm super excited for what 2013 has in store. Bring in the new year leaving 2012 in the past, ready to embrace what next year has in store. You are the creator of your world, and the writer of your life. Make sure the people in your life are making YOU a better YOU. Stay close to family, count your blessings, and never give up. 2013 here we go!

Merry Christmas to us!

Christmas is such a wonderful holiday. A day with family, a day off work, a phone call from friends, and good food! Of course, I would get the stomache flu or whatever you call it. Pretty much my guy's whole family and I got it. Merry Christmas to us! On a brighter note, my father made a very good point at the Christmas eve service Monday night. He was talking about how Christmastime feels like a clean slate, a peaceful day. It's so true! The whole world changed when Jesus was born (if that's what you believe), and even to this day Christmas feels like such a peaceful day. Hence why by New Years everyone has New Year's resolutions and promises made to themselves to make the next year a better year. New Year's feels like a clean slate. And I think everyone needs that sometimes. I've had my share of faults and mistakes this year, but I have learned so much. I have a wonderful man who has stuck by me right or wrong, a loving family, and I'm bringing in the New Year knowing who is supposed to be in my life and who isn't. 2012 has been full of lessons and blessings. A year ago I was jobless, my family had moved away, and I had no idea what I was going to do. Wow have things changed. Whether it was a horrible year or the best year you've ever had, you have a clean slate. Make 2013 whatever you want it to be.

Love is

Remember today, love is not a whisper or a weakness.
Start your Christmas weekend off right. Share a little love with the special ones around you. It is not a weakness, but a strength.

Mercy-Dave Matthews Band

Girls, Girls, Girls

So much to say about this. Girls, girls, girls. Girls have the natural capability of representing beauty and love. But yet we become raging beasts in the snap of a finger.

I read in The Happiness Project to stay away from gossip. Sort of impossible if you are a chick. But I really want to challenge myself to do this. The only time I enjoy gossip is in the moment it's being said, the moment I hear it, and the moment it's spread. That's it. There is no long-lasting happiness I get from being a part of gossip: telling it, receiving it, or sitting in a room full of it. The day after a gossip sesh feels worse than a hangover for me. I always revisit what I said, what I heard, and wow is that true?. I, also, read in Rubin's book to never believe what you do not see. If you didn't see it, but you heard it, don't believe it. You weren't there to witness the dirty deeds being done, you weren't there to hear what was going on, and therefore, it is none of your business. Would you enjoy your life being plastered all over everyone's tabloid lips? Probably not. I mean, who does?

I strongly believe in karma-not religiously or anything like that. I believe that you should treat others like you would want to be treated. Thank goodness there's grace and mercy or we'd all be beaten down and completely miserable. Obviously, a lot of the bad deeds we have done, haven't necessarily been repaid. But I find that if you notice your wrongdoings and fix what has been done, karma won't be out to get you as much. But if you continually partake in treating others bad or doing wrong, with no sympathy or hope to change, karma will get you. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've seen karma get a few people, and I can't say I didn't smirk about it.

I'm not a mean girl. I really do want happiness for everyone in my life. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes, and I learn from them. One of my biggest pet-peeves is those who mistreat others-mainly relationally. Our relationships are the MOST important part of our lives. Our relationships with God, our significant other, family, and friends will make or break our lives. Stop mistreating the people closest to you in your life. Stop lying. Stop cheating. Stop gossiping. Stop the violence. Stop the anger before you destroy your purpose on this planet. You treat your family bad, your future family will suffer. You treat your romantic relationship bad, your lover will suffer (and even your kids if you have any) and probably your future lover, too. You treat your friends bad, you will suffer. Yes, we all suffer from mistreatment from someone in our lives, but know that it is not your fault. You cannot make decisions for anyone but yourself. Make good choices!

Back to gossip and the agony of being a woman. You will always be surrounded by gossip one way or another. You may have said something before that you regret and something you wish you would have never said (knowing it will turn into someone else's gossip). I'm making it a point in my life to stay away from gossip as much as I can. In one ear, out the other. Speak purely of others.

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." -Eleanor Roosevelt

To-do Week

Ever feel like you're having a week that is more like a to-do week? I know I do! I'm having a to-do week as we speak. So much to do, so little time, AGAIN! How is it humanly possible to have so much to do? I want to see the day where I have nothing to do, at all. Gosh, I don't even remember what that feels like.

My goals for this week seem never-ending. On the up side, I made spaghetti by myself for the first time ever. And thanks to "Fit and Active", it was more healthy than usual, making stuffing my face more enjoyable. Now, you may be thinking "Wow, she must not be domestic." You're probably right. I was raised in a family where the daddy was the cook of the family. My mom can cook, too, but my dad LOVES cooking. One day, he even mentioned opening his own restaurant when he retires. He just loves to cook. And when he's cooking, he seems like he wants the kitchen to himself, until he needs the table set. So there. I haven't really experienced cooking, and I don't consider myself a typical woman, either. I like to clean because I like a clean home. But cleaning isn't a "woman's job". It's a home-owner's or renter's job. Tonight, even though my guy doesn't live with me, I asked him nicely to help clean up the kitchen after dinner. Of course, he gives me that "Do I have to" look. He surprisingly agreed to help, and let me tell you, the cleaning was done MUCH quicker. Team effort. It's OK to help clean, even if you're a manly-man.

Anyways, it was nice to feel like I accomplished something tonight: I made my first spaghetti dinner. And while the sauce was slow-cookin', I did an Insanity cardio workout via DVD. That completes my Monday.

Happy Monday to you. Make sure you have your goals for the week! I look forward to the weekend. And the more I get done this week, the more fun I have come Friday. And...CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE!

More Love, Less Hate

Watching MSNBC's coverage of the Newtown shooting saddens me into an emotional place only I can reach deep within myself. So much is on my mind. From seeing my kiddies this week and appreciating the time I get with them much more than before after last week's elementary school shooting to how frustrated I can become with certain situations in my life to where did the weekend go and why couldn't the Bears take away a win from the Packers. I'm angry that the Bears didn't win today, and I'm angry that people who ask for help and need help, don't do anything to help themselves. I see, too often, others make decisions in life that I will never understand. And why should I even worry about it? It's not my life, not my choices, and not my consequences. I guess I just don't understand why anyone asks for help with no intention to help themselves. If you need advice or want help with a situation, another person can only do so much. A large part of help and change comes from within yourself. YOU have to want to change and grow and help yourself. Then, my mind moves on to the shooter of the terrible tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. There are so many articles and news-casters discussing the real problem with Adam Lanza: Did he have a mental illness? Was he just crazy? Was he planning this alone? No one really knows. Either way, his actions were gruesome, heartbreaking, and just terrible. And only time will tell, if anything, what caused him to create such a tragedy. After that, my mind moves back to the loved ones in my life whom I just don't understand. I may not understand, and I may not be as patient as I used to be, but I need to love more and hate less. No matter what the situation, though I wish some would help themselves more, I do still love these people, and there is a special place in my heart for each and every person in my life. Instead of hating circumstances, hating situations, and hating other's actions, I need to focus on my own. I need to embrace the precious moments I get when a friend calls for help or another friend seeks advice. After all, we are all on this Earth together, sharing breaths and memories that will write our story. So tonight, as we listen to the President address Newtown, and we hold our loved ones a little closer, remember this week to have more love in your life and less hate.

Whatever you are going through tonight..."Only love can dig you out of this." -The Lumineers Slow It Down

Never Force What You Love

Never force what you love. Never feel forced to do something, anything. Just something else I read in The Happiness Project: Rubin tried keeping a daily journal, and initially had the idea to write everyday. Well, some days aren't as significant as others, and some days you just don't want to write. Rubin found that on some days she felt almost forced to write. So I made a new promise to myself about my blog: I will never feel forced to write. I love writing these blogs, and I love taking time to share my thoughts, insight, experiences, and precious daily moments that I have. But, if for whatever reason, I don't feel like writing, I will listen to myself. The same way we try to like someone we just don't like, or we try to love a food we just don't love-never try to force yourself to do what you love. You LOVE it after all. And your love for whatever it is came natural, so let doing it come natural.

Hope you are having a blessed Wednesday! And remember, never force what you LOVE!

Overload

I'm going through brain overload today! So much to do, so little time. I'm exhausting myself even being awake right now. I will blog more about this experience as it comes. This week has been one of the busiest weeks I've had in a while-lots of decisions to make, Christmas stuff to get done, bills to work out, parties to attend, a to-do list that's untouched, and so on. I need a break. Hope your lucky 12/12/12 Wednesday was everything you hoped for! As for me? I'm going to sleep-right now.

And remember, everyone is in your life for a reason. Everyone matters. As mentioned before, think of the people placed in your life as a teacher-to be a lesson in your life, to help you, to guide you, to love you.

12/12/12

Apparently, December 12, 2012 is the last triple digit alignment date until January 1, 2101.

So folks, make today a good one! Enjoy a date that will never come again in our lifetime!

I can't even wrap my mind around this. Make 12/12/12 a day to remember! After all, it only happens once.

Cursed

Oh my goodness. Such a long, productive Tuesday. And I'm feeling the anxiety already from knowing I won't get everything done this week that I want to get done-such as de-cluttering my room (another tip I learned in The Happiness Project). Even though I just moved in a month ago, I'm ready for a de-cluttering date with my me, myself, and I. I should do it on a Monday. Usually, nothing ever happens on a Monday.

So much is on my mind! But I will try to keep it flowing smoothly on here for you. My brain works in ways even I don't understand.

I have a curse-the never feel good enough, always need to work harder, always questioning if I'm doing everything right kind of curse. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've been taught that the sky's the limit. Growing up, I can't remember one person who has ever told me "You can't", "You won't", or "That's an impossible goal". Of course, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who think I couldn't, I wouldn't, or that there are impossible goals in the world for me to attain. We are all pretty guilty of thinking that about someone else. And then we feel guilty for thinking that at all. Because you see, we all have dreams and aspirations. We all have goals, and we all want something. And we never want anyone to rain on our parade. I believe we should all follow our dreams. Where would our world be without people who do so? Would we still have Presidents, Missionaries, Teachers, Musicians, even the creators of delivery pizza? Follow your dreams and work hard. Never question yourself. (I should take my own advice. I'm just better at giving it, rather than taking it.) Remember, you can't hold the whole world on your shoulders. We are just little specs on the Earth, trying to make a difference, and be remembered somehow. Even though I'm cursed, I'm destined to get rid of the insecurity and questions I shoot myself with everyday.

Today, while running across an episode of MTV's series This Is How I Made It, I heard a song by B.o.B. for the first time in my life. Finally looked up the lyrics and surely enough, it has everything to do with what I'm feeling at the moment.

B.o.B. feat. Taylor Swift "Both of Us"

"And even though we always against the odds, These are the things that have molded us, And if life hadn't chosen us, Sometimes I wonder, Where I would have wound up"

Amazing. Outstanding. Beautiful.
Sometimes God has a funny way of getting through to me.

Have a Better Future

I was told today by a complete stranger that I seem reserved and shy. If you know me, you're probably thinking 'How is that possible?'. Well folks, apparently it is possible. My current boss, also, said that when I first started the job-it was a real worry factor for him since part of the job includes being loud and energetic all day long. In the end, everything worked out, and what do you know? I'm loud and energetic all day long, no problem. Anyone I see after work gets a free pass away from my talkative, outgoing self since I'm completely spent from the day already. They see a much quieter Carissa. (My guy still thinks I talk a lot, though.)

Don't be fooled. I'm still the outgoing, crazy, energetic girl you know or have known. My childhood, youth, and college years have shaped me to who I am today. Not too mention the long year after college graduation that ended up being a huge wake-up call. My relationships have changed me, and so have my friendships (both the ones that lasted AND the ones that didn't). My family is a huge part in who I am today, as well. I was always the one who hated chores. I never wanted to empty the dishwasher or vacuum ever! And now I find myself cleaning every chance I get. Thanks Mom.

Basically, people and experiences change us. They make us better and help us grow. I am different than I was when I was six years old, and caused so much trouble that I got kicked out of Sunday School multiple times. But I am still the same girl on the inside. Just shaped differently.

I have two thoughts for you tonight:

• Embrace the people and experiences in your life-in each you will find a lesson. 
• Don't let people or experiences in your past affect your future negatively.

Yes, there are people and experiences I have come across that thankfully have come and gone. And I do treat similar situations in the present with a very guarded heart. Lesson I need to learn: I don't need to put up my guard all the time. It's OK to have learned from the past, but to have a better future. 

Good Things Happening

How excited am I?! I dreaded my Monday, as usual, only to find out I don't have classes to teach this afternoon. Score! Now I have a few extra hours of free time to finish up some work, start my Christmas cards, do some reading, and get a good, solid workout in. I solemnly swear to never expect Monday to be a drag again! So many good things happening today!

I can always hop on Twitter or Facebook to find out how a number of people are doing that day. I see tweets like "today is not my day" or "sending happy vibes your way" constantly! I mean, social media has become everyone's source of venting these days. If you have a great day or something great happens to you, your social media will know. If you have a miserable day, social media will know. Your social media sites are basically inviting others into your personal life (unless you don't use social media as a venting tool). I do admit that I sometimes 'vent tweet', but more-so than not, I'm posting positive tweets!

One conclusion I've come to from this social media catastrophe: Your bad day is someone's great day. You may have a terrible day, while your best friend is having the best day ever. Doesn't it irritate you to jump on Twitter and find all these "having a great day!" tweets while your sulking in your bad mood? I know it irritates me sometimes. I wonder why God doesn't give the whole world good days on the same days. Would that be a perfect world or what? You know the saying "There can't be rich without the poor, and vice versa"? So maybe there can't be good days without bad days. Even though you may be having a bad day, be a part of someone's good day. You'll feel instantly lifted out of that sulk you're in. And if you know a friend having a bad day, be something good in that person's day. Happy Monday!

"Your Place"

Something I'm starting this week: Make "your place" yours. I have an empty bulletin board that I put up last week in my room. First, I hung my goals up, leaving the rest of the bulletin board empty. And this week, I'm going to try and challenge myself to start collecting magazine cutouts or pictures that I want to save or keep as a reminder to post on my empty board. I love Women's Health magazine and Fitness magazine. So, I am going to go through those magazines during my free time and cut out a few things I want to remember or little workouts I want to keep. I used to carry around my magazines to remember to try the monthly workouts they have. This week, I'm just going to try and post whatever I want on "my place" in my room. My bulletin board is "my place" to put whatever I want on it. Not that I couldn't do this anywhere else in my apartment, but I think this space should be reserved as "my place" to express myself, keep my goals posted, and post whatever I want to keep as a reminder or to save. (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, did something like this-hence the idea.) This is very similar to a Microsoft Word document that I would save on my computer with different quotes posted during my teenage years.
What is "your place" in your home? Find "your place", and remember to be creative!

Be Creative

Be creative. Yes, even in our 20s, it's OK to be creative and feel like a kid, again. This weekend, I turned an old wine bottle into a fun, decor item that could work in any room. And this is all I had to do: clean out the bottle, peel off any sticky stuff on the bottle, cut different color ribbons of all lengths, and put the strands inside the bottle. Fun and easy. And what else did I do during a few free hours this weekend? Played some old school Sonic the Hedgehog on xbox, a game I used to play as a kid (obviously on an old play station back then). Random, creative, and fun. I encourage you to think creative next time you have a few free hours. Try something you haven't done in years. Maybe take a trip to the zoo or color in a random ol' coloring book. Keep that young spirit around!

It's YOUR List

I haven't abandoned you blog world! Although, I did take the weekend away from my computer. Until tonight!

I think it is so important to take time away from your daily grind sometimes. I have found that my workweek becomes so predictable and routine-like that some days I just need a new flow. And this weekend, I had planned to blog, but ended up not finding the right time. I spent time with loved ones, saw "Playing for Keeps", got some Christmas shopping done, and watched football. I'd say it was a pretty good, relaxing weekend. I have every intention to blog everyday. But I've learned it's OK to get off track sometimes. It's OK for what you planned to change. It's OK to spend time with loved ones and enjoy it, without getting tied up in what you didn't get done today. That's all a part of living in the now, something I struggle with everyday. 

Go ahead and write down your goals for the week! And don't forget to hang up your goals somewhere you will see them everyday! The goals that I didn't accomplish last week are going back on the list, because they are goals I want to tackle. Remember your goals can be anything you want to accomplish from eating celery everyday to limiting your Facebook time to making a grocery store stop-it's YOUR list of what YOU want to do with your week. Your list is unique and only YOURS!

Weekly Goals?

How are your weekly goals looking? I know how mine look. I did accomplish a few goals, but there are a few I failed at including the "work out in the morning" one. I am not a morning person and never have been. I don't really like coffee, but I'll try any coffee that's in front of me. I worked a job a year ago that started at 6:30am, and let me tell you, I have never drank that much coffee in my life. Next week, you better believe that the "work out in the morning" goal will be back on my goals list. I want to tackle this! I can't wait for my day to actually end at 5pm instead of having to go to the gym, making my day end later.

How did you do on your goals this week? Don't get down about the ones you didn't tackle yet. Just throw them on next week's list. And the goals you accomplished? Celebrate this weekend! You CAN do whatever you set your mind to.

Let Go

I have always been told that love and friendship should come easy. Family is more challenging due to the fact that you can't choose your family. You may never see eye to eye with your mom, dad, or siblings, but you sure love em' like crazy.

There have been many times that I have made my life harder than it has to be. For some reason, I enjoy working hard at friendships and love, but I'm starting to learn the meaning of that constant advice I've been given: love and friendship should come easy.

At this age, there is a lot of "work" to be done: work itself, enjoying the here and now, eating healthy, making it to the gym everyday, paying your bills on time. These all take work. And now I understand, if you have to work uber hard to keep some of your friendships and relationships around, you are probably working too hard. Friendships are a blessing. Friends keep you up when you're falling down. They support you, make you laugh, encourage you, and love you for YOU. That shouldn't be hard. If you are finding it hard to connect with an old friend or to have a friendship at all with that person, it's probably time to let go. I get bitter about this, because I do love all of my friends with all my heart, even the ones I've lost touch with. But I have learned the hard way to let go of friendships that bring you down, as they say. Make sure your friendships are a blessing in your life, not another challenge. And as for relationships? Refer to the "Partner=Best Friend" post.

Let go of what you need to let go of. What is supposed to be will be. And be grateful for those who are a blessing in your life today.

It's Friday Friday

Remember the Rebecca Black jam back in 2011? "It's Friday Friday, Gotta get down on Friday" How could you forget it? The most random, simple, pointless song that you still to this day wonder, how did THAT become so big? I have the answer. She and a few people had an idea, implemented the idea, and BOOM.

Moral of the story: If you have an idea, get your booty movin', before someone takes your spotlight! It could be anything: Making cupcakes for your students, a new invention, creating a social group that meets a few times a month, starting a fitness group at your workplace that works out together before work, calling up that old friend, sending your grandparents some love via email-whatever it may be, get after it before the idea goes to waste!

"Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend"

Partner=Best Friend

I've been wanting to write about this for awhile. But never found the right moment or thought to do so.

Pick the right partner (boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever you call it). There IS a reason why this isn't titled 'Pick the right husband'. I am not married, have no children, and have never been in a relationship longer than two years. I have no marriage advice or insight for anyone because I have never been in that position. I have opinions, and that is all.  This just pertains to picking the right partner. Heck, this could even be titled 'Pick the right people in your life'. Same thing.

Who you spend your time with, and who you pick to be in your life directly reflects who you are. Whether or not you want to believe this, it is true. It is important to choose your friends and partner wisely. You can't make yourself like someone so stop trying. Even though you may not want to be outspoken about it, you know who your best friends are, you know who your "friends" are, and you know who your acquaintances are. Your best friends bring out the best in you, and you can be yourself at all times with these people. You tolerate your "friends", even though you know they aren't your best friends. And you see your acquaintances from time to time.

When you pick a partner, you should not only pick someone you're into, someone you are attracted to, and someone you enjoy being around, but you should pick your BEST FRIEND. They have to be more than good looking, interesting, and fun. Otherwise, you will hit a lot of dead ends with this person, and could set yourself up for failure. You need to have the package deal, including seeing that person as your best friend either at the start or in the future.

Relationships are not supposed to be deceiving, scandalous, heartbreaking, destructive parts of our life, even though so often they end up being so. Being in a relationship is supposed to be the best time of your life. The BEST! And if it's not, you are working a lot harder than you should.

Pick a partner whom you can tell anything to, and I mean anything. Now, I don't mean go on a rant and tell your partner every aspect of your life, but he/she needs to be someone you don't have to hide anything from. (Please, don't go rush into a life story with your partner. There will be plenty of time for that.)

NO LYING! Lying ruins relationships. Lying IS cheating, deceiving, withholding the whole truth, telling white lies, etc. And if you find yourself lying to your partner, you are slowly breaking your relationship to pieces. Why should that person trust you? Think about it. And if they lie to you, too, then why are you with them? Lying, also, ruins marriages. (Again, never been married, but it would ruin mine.)

You should never feel trapped with your partner. If it's a Friday night, and you'd rather be galavanting and meeting hotties than with your man or woman, you know what to do. Save your partner the heartache. You should not feel like you're in jail or that he/she is trying to control you. If you have found the right person, every minute with your partner will be worthwhile: watching a movie, going for a run, spending a night out on the town, etc. And I mean every minute. Even though you will spend hours away from this person on a daily basis (for reasons like work and other priorities), you will embrace the hours you get with him/her.

Any issues you will have with your partner will not be break-up worthy if they are your best friend. Speaking of, that's something to think about: how many times have you had break-up worthy issues with whomever your best friend is outside of your relationship? Probably few to none. Now, I'm not saying every relationship with your best friend lasts forever because in fact, people do change, times change, personalities change, and so on. I'm just giving a few tips on how to pick the RIGHT partner.

So here's the lowdown. When picking a partner, remember this person should be at least a few of the following TO YOU:

• Attractive 
• Fun
• Trustworthy
• Loyal
• Loving
• Best friend material
• Gets along with your family (unless your family's crazy)
• Supportive
• Faithful
• Giving
• Honest
• Brings out the best in you

...including being or becoming your best friend, hence the 'best friend material' point. 

I'm not perfect. I have no relationship expertise certificate. I've had my share of breakups and miserable relationships, and I've had my share of good memories. But I have found the right partner who makes me a better ME! I don't put promise on the future-I just hope to spend my life with the RIGHT person. And these are just a few pointers to finding the RIGHT partner. No promises that the right partner will last forever because we all know life can change in an instant. But I promise this post will help you on your journey to finding that person.

Partner=Best friend and more.

YOU.

Be YOU. Do YOU. Love YOU. Enjoy YOU.

And most of all, stay YOU.

Being Bored can be a Blessing

My parents always referred to me as their party girl since I was born on a Friday night: the girl who always likes to have fun, always likes to be in party mode, and always likes to have something to do. I hate being bored. I grew up playing a variety of sports, mainly soccer, which made it very easy to stay busy, leaving little to no time to be bored. There have been many transitions throughout the past year from my family moving away, to being tight on expenses, to finding my place in the workforce, to my social life declining (which I have found to be normal?). I have spent many Friday nights in watching movies in hopes to save money and many weekday nights full of boredom. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. So I've been told.

Part of growing up is learning more about YOU: what you do when you're bored, who you are when no one's watching, actions you take to better yourself, how you choose to handle situations, etc. What do you do when you're bored? In my life, working out doesn't count towards what I do when I'm bored because that is a part of my daily life. Tonight, I was supposed to be attending another yoga class with a friend, but she ended up not being able to go. I could have still attended, but I spent a few hours at the gym, only to find myself bored after my workout. What did I do? I turned on my old i-pod that hasn't been updated in about two years, cooked breakfast food for dinner, and made gingerbread cookies. Not only did I cook, I turned up my i-pod and sang my heart out. No, the roommate didn't have to suffer through my cooking concert tonight, but I sure hope the neighbors enjoyed it. I had a blast, even though I was bored. And that is the first time I have ever cooked bacon and eggs for dinner by myself. I found joy in the quiet moment I had with myself tonight, turned up the music, and enjoyed my surroundings. 

You don't necessarily have to do the same thing. But I encourage you to try this: Next time you're bored, instead of calling your phone contacts to find something to do, or sitting on Facebook for the night, try just enjoying yourself. You need to get to know yourself during these years. These may be the last years you get time to yourself (assuming you want to get married and have kids-or one of these, or none of these).

Being bored can be a blessing, too. 

Be Loving

I have found yet another The Happiness Project quote to remember. The chapter regarding friendships includes a complete rundown of what to do to make your friendships strong and long-lasting. In this, Rubin includes a page of personal commandments that were sent to her by her readers. One that stuck out to me: Be loving and love will find you. 

There are many challenges every single day in my life and in yours that can make having a loving attitude very hard. I encourage you to fight this battle with me. I have a huge attitude that I try to keep to myself, I'm VERY stubborn, and I sometimes find it hard to be loving. Even if we feel as though we are loving enough, I can almost promise you that you can never love enough. Think about it. There is always something you wish you would've done: sent out Christmas cards the year before, remembered your friend's birthday, showed more affection, kept in touch with those you grew up with, etc. I've caught myself numerous times turning down a grocery isle, seeing someone I know, and turning right back around because I didn't feel like saying hello and engaging in quick conversation. Just pathetic on my part. To others, you ARE what they remember about you. If you are snotty and catty, you will be remembered as that. If you seem uninterested when you run into an old friend, that friend will remember that. If you ditch a birthday party or baby shower you RSVP'd to, that won't be forgotten (at least until the next one). If you lie, you will be remembered as a liar. If you are loving, you will be known as loving. I promise. When I think of old college friends or someone I used to know, I usually remember each person as I left them: college graduation or my last high school soccer game or a run-in with an old friend at Walgreens last week (I usually see someone I know every time I go to Walgreens, no joke). Leave a loving, lasting impression. Be who you want to be remembered as. 

I believe that good things come to good people. Now, I'm not saying that bad things don't happen because they do, inevitably. However, if you are loving, God will bless you with love, whether it be love in your family, friendships, or romantic relationships. If you love, you will be loved. Be loving and love will find you.

Yesterday's Mess

Never bring yesterday's mess into today. EVER. Yesterday happened for a reason, but there's a reason that everyday is a new day.

I have read many articles on sleeping off your stress or hitting the gym for a good workout after a day of chaos. And both are said to work. Every time I'm drowning in stress (and yes, sometimes you will feel overwhelmed in your 20s), I have learned to go to sleep that night, instead of staying up dwelling on it. Even when I get upset at someone, once I get a good night's rest, I usually feel much better the next day. And it shouldn't be hard to fall asleep on those nights because you should be super tired from all the emotion you've been feeling that day. Emotion is exhausting and so is overthinking. So say you're stressed at work, or stressing all day about your upcoming bills, or someone just utterly pissed you off-that's tiring enough to put you to sleep. And I promise, sleep will help you feel better. Then, the next day you can decide what to do about whichever situation, with a clearer mind than the day before.

However, if you stay up dwelling on your day/situation or cursing out that person on the phone that just upset you, you won't get a good night's rest, and the next day you'll be tired, bringing negative emotion into your day. I'm begging you to do yourself a favor and don't do this! You may have had a bad day, but don't prolong that bad day into the next few days. Leave that mess where it is.

I have found that my evening tidy-up has been so refreshing in the morning. Beyond belief. It's the same concept of 'Never bring yesterday's mess into today'. So true, even for objects. Clean up your mess from the day because the next day will bring its own mess, and you shouldn't have to clean up two messes.

Money Saving tip for the day: Lunch break? Don't eat out every day!

This whole week, I have either packed a lunch, or ate at home. I know some of you don't have either option, but if you can go home for lunch or pack a lunch, do so! You'll feel much better having saved $40-$50 a week (sometimes more!).

Choose Wisely

Springbrook Prairie Path

Be Reliable! Respond!

This subject is touchy, but yet so funny. How many of you receive texts from your family and friends and never respond? Or respond days later when the text is irrelevant? And how many of you receive texts from some hottie and ALWAYS respond? Exactly.

Your excuses that sound a lot like "I didn't have my phone" or "sorry, I've been too busy to text back" don't work and trust me, no one believes you.

We ALL are glued to our phones. I'll give men the benefit of the doubt that they just aren't as interested in their phones as much as women. However, they have their phones with them a majority of the time, just like anyone else. I'm just as guilty as you are for not answering texts or calls from family and friends, but you better believe I respond to my guy. Typical. So, I've come up with a solution for myself. I've been trying to check all texts and calls at the end of the day to respond to anything I've missed. I want others to find me reliable so I am trying to do this on a regular basis, even if I'd rather not respond. I can list my friends who are reliable and who is not based on who I can get a hold of, and I know you can, too. It takes about ten seconds of your time, if that, to read and respond to a text-even to simply answer a question or let that person know you are busy at the moment. And I would say ALL of us have more than a ten second break in the day. We get longer bathroom breaks than that.

Don't get that unreliable reputation. Take time at the end of your day to respond! You appreciate getting responses and so does the person on the other side of the phone. Be reliable!

Yes, there are other factors to being a reliable individual. This just happens to be one of them: RESPOND!

Happy Wednesday!

It is so hard for me to get excited about Wednesdays. Yes, it is hump day, and by far my most challenging day of the week. On the up side, I had a complete breakfast, and tidied up my apartment before heading off to work, in hopes of coming home to a clean space that should feel refreshing after this long day.

Try doing the same! And if you have an exhausting day today, plan a night in with movies and your couch to get re-energized for the rest of the week. Or should I say, hit up a yoga class tonight?

Happy Wednesday!

Empowering Women

As I sit here watching the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, the words that come to mind are "Empowering Women". Now, I'm not saying these women are the next U.S. President, Harvard graduate, the next Oprah, or a CEO of a company, but they are beautiful women. And they strut their stuff with confidence, a smile, and a kiss-blow at the end of the runway. I'm so interested in their story (I love the interviews throughout the show), how they got to where they are, and what they love to do for fun in their personal life.

Either way, I love the concept of empowering women, and each of us can be an empowering woman in our own life. You are needed by someone around you. As mentioned before, your job needs you, your family needs you, and your friends need you. And we all have dreams and aspirations. I believe by following those dreams, you will be an empowering woman in your lifetime. You may not see your name in lights, and you may not get your own TV show, but you will inspire and influence someone around you, and to me, that's empowering enough.

So I will leave you with some encouragement for the night: empower yourself. You don't have to have a strict 500-calories-a-day diet plan, exercise non-stop, be looked at by every guy, have the top job in your line of employment, or have a super star child to be an empowering woman. Just be YOU! And find that spark in your own life that attracts the loved ones around you. Light that flame and keep it burnin'.

Turnaround Tuesday

You're halfway through your Tuesday, and you already know if it's going to be a good day or not. I'm halfway through my Tuesday, and it's definitely not my greatest day thus far. Careless mistakes on my part and moody children are not the kind of morning I look forward to.

But I'm still going to try to kick Tuesday's butt. Make it a turnaround Tuesday and turn your bad day into a good one. Stay focused, stay positive, stay on track!

Case of the Mondays?

Thank you Under Armour Women for putting it so perfectly. What DID you do today to overcome your case of the Mondays? I can tell you what I did! I worked, as usual, but I tried something I've never tried before. Hot yoga. And it was hot. Now, typically I'm into rough, contact sports. But today, I discovered why BOTH men and woman love it. So relaxing, so challenging (I always need a challenge), and so dang hot. I have not smelled that bad since college soccer. I would claim hot yoga a success, and something I took part in to overcome my case of the Mondays.

What did you do? Feel free to comment!

Now I find myself watching MTV's latest hit show Catfish. It is so intriguing how these people are fooled so easily. But beyond that, I find it so sad that someone settles for an online-only relationship without skype or any face to face contact. So far, the person on the other side of the computer has never been who they say they are. It seems like these people need a bond with someone they don't have  in their own lives, so they search social media to find it. If you are someone looking for that random hottie online, please let me stop you before you embarrass yourself. I encourage you to go on a dating website where most scammers are weeded out. But please, do not be that creepy Facebook kid.

As Monday comes to a close, I hope it was everything you hoped for to start your week off right. And if your Monday happened to be miserable,  sleep well. Tomorrow's a new day.

Kettle Bell Workout-Check it out!

My first kettle bell workout for the week! I always highly recommend Women's Health Magazine's workouts because they are gender specific, and there is such a wide variety of workouts available!
Kettle Bell Workout
Check it out! I promise you will break a sweat, and burn those extra calories!

Dedicate Yourself

Happy Monday! So much to do, so little time! Take advantage of your Monday, and get some of that mental to-do list done! I, also, encourage you to try a workout you've never tried. I bought my first kettle bell a few weeks back, and today I am going to start doing kettle bell workouts...along with that yoga class tonight. Double whammy!

Monday has the tendency to set the mood for your work week. If you get behind on Monday, typically you're behind all week! Make sure your workday is fabulous, and get everything done that needs to get done, even if that means you stay an extra hour. In fact, get ahead this Monday!

If you are feeling like a useless, working, middle-class, normal human being today, here's a little inspiration. You ARE meaningful to someone! You are here for a purpose! Never forget that! Your job needs you, your family and friends need you, YOU need YOU. And if you're happy, everyone and everything around you will be happier. I encourage you to do something that makes you happy today. That could be anything from cooking up your favorite spaghetti meal, seeing a friend you've been missing, stopping by your neighbor's house to say hello, going for a run, ANYTHING!

Sometimes, we become so focused on 'finding ourselves' that we forget to enjoy today. We don't have to have it all figured out right now. Especially if you are in your mid20s. Now, I've never been any older than my mid20s, but I've heard countless times, you don't have to know it all, yet. And I know we've all heard how fast time flies. I don't want time to fly in my life without enjoying every moment. I want to enjoy my journey. Remember there is no one like you, no one walking the same road as you, and no one who can be a better you. Dedicate yourself to finding yourself, but not finding all the answers. Just find YOU and enjoy every minute of it.

"Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself." -The Script

Do good, feel good!

The Happiness Project

Always use your network!

No, blogger world, I have not abandoned you. And I don't plan on it! It's that time of the week again. Sunday funday-the day of rest and the day of anticipating or dreading the upcoming week. Time to snap out of it! Take a minute, grab a marker and a piece of paper, write down your goals, and put that paper somewhere you will see it everyday. First, writing down your goals for the week will provide validation. Second, putting your goals somewhere you will see them, will be a reminder to you everyday. And last, you will be working towards your goals all week, which will create that motivation factor you've been waiting for.

I hope you have had a wonderful weekend with family and friends. I can honestly say, I had a great weekend. I learned a little and lived a little. I caught up with a few old friends, spent time with my man, had a nice night out on the town, and of course, watched football. My favorite college team is going to the BCS championship, and my Bears, well they had a rough day. However, playoffs are right around the corner. There's still hope!

I may say this a lot in my blog posts, but I promise it works. Try something new as much as possible. Even if you hate it after, trying new things creates experience. Tomorrow, I'm going with the roommate to a yoga sculpt class: something I have never done before and something totally new. Roommate bonding time!

Here's a tip: always use your network! What do I mean by network? I mean your network of family and friends. I just so happen to know the teacher that will be instructing the yoga class tomorrow. When you need to buy a car? Make sure you ask family and friends. They may be able to help you with a good deal or know someone who can. This weekend, I had to buy a new car, and because I knew someone who knew someone, I got a pretty good deal. When you need a new doctor, it wouldn't hurt to ask for a reference. Need to plan a party? Ask your bartender friends to set one up at their restaurant. I, recently, decided to look into healthy eating plans. I have a friend who sells meal replacement smoothies. Perfect! You never know who your friends and family know, and you never know exactly how much they can help you unless you ask. Make sure to use your network of family and friends! Not only will you find what you need, they will appreciate you asking, and you will feel an immediate connection. Not only did they help you, you supported what they do.

Get a good night's rest before your Monday! Monday sets the tone for the whole week, so "make it a great day or not, the choice is yours."-As said via intercom every morning in high school.

Winter Blues

Happy Saturday to you! Start your day off with a good breakfast! No rush because hopefully you have no work today. Sleep in, take naps, watch that chick flick you've been wanting to see, and get out on the town when the sun goes down. If you are in the Chicago area, it so happens to be abnormally warm! Embrace the warmth we don't get very often! Go for a walk or a jog and breathe in that warm, fresh air.

I only worry that later in the winter we are going to get slammed with snow. I couldn't be more excited, though, because I want to go skiing on actual snow, not fake snow/ice. To get through those winter blues, plan a winter trip! Whether it be skiing/snowboarding, to a bed and breakfast, or a weekend getaway to somewhere you've never been. Plan it and look forward to it. That should be the cure to those winter blues!

I say all this as I head on my way to car shop. Unfortunately it is a need at the moment, not a want. I'm sure this experience will show in a good post later on.

Happy Saturday!