Friendships are one of the sweetest blessings of life.
I am very good at loving from afar. I have a tough time really showing how much I really care for my friends sometimes. I didn't used to, though. College definitely changed the way I treat my friends. Before that, I believed in and trusted every friend I had. I had wonderful friends while I was away at school, but a few let me down, lied to me, and used me. Those few will always stick with me as lessons in disguise. Besides being hurt, I learned to not trust everyone and to stop expecting every person to be a good one.
Now, I am much more careful about who I allow in my life. I meet new people, and I don't cling onto them as though we will be forever friends. I choose wisely. And I think that's a part of growing up. You want friends around you that build you, not break you, that uplift you, not drag you down, that are kind and honest, not two-faced and deceitful.
But then what do you do with friends you have known your whole life? The friends that were there for your first kiss, the first time you were grounded, the first everything. Some of these can be the greatest forever friends! But some may not have turned out how you had hoped. I am learning that in your mid 20's, you start to see your friends establish themselves. They may not be living down the street anymore, or share the same interests and morals as you. That initial bond diminishes between a few of you. But then there are those friendships that have never changed, no matter where you are on the map or how different your interests are. It's amazing how different people clash and different people are drawn to each other.
Like I said before, I am very good at loving from afar. In some cases, I need to love from afar, because I see a better friendship in that than staying close. Just like it's natural to fall in love, it's so natural to be drawn to some as your close friends and clash with others.
I fight this all the time because I miss how close I used to be to some. My advice to you and myself is to stop fighting it. Part of growing up is choosing your friends wisely, and it's better to have a few good friends that you enjoy spending time with than friends you have to make yourself spend time with. It's natural. Let it be.
Cherish your friendships whether they are close or afar. Enjoy some of life's sweetest gifts, and always be kind.
Showing posts with label #bestfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #bestfriend. Show all posts
Friday, August 2, 2013
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Partner=Best Friend
I've been wanting to write about this for awhile. But never found the right moment or thought to do so.
Pick the right partner (boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever you call it). There IS a reason why this isn't titled 'Pick the right husband'. I am not married, have no children, and have never been in a relationship longer than two years. I have no marriage advice or insight for anyone because I have never been in that position. I have opinions, and that is all. This just pertains to picking the right partner. Heck, this could even be titled 'Pick the right people in your life'. Same thing.
Who you spend your time with, and who you pick to be in your life directly reflects who you are. Whether or not you want to believe this, it is true. It is important to choose your friends and partner wisely. You can't make yourself like someone so stop trying. Even though you may not want to be outspoken about it, you know who your best friends are, you know who your "friends" are, and you know who your acquaintances are. Your best friends bring out the best in you, and you can be yourself at all times with these people. You tolerate your "friends", even though you know they aren't your best friends. And you see your acquaintances from time to time.
When you pick a partner, you should not only pick someone you're into, someone you are attracted to, and someone you enjoy being around, but you should pick your BEST FRIEND. They have to be more than good looking, interesting, and fun. Otherwise, you will hit a lot of dead ends with this person, and could set yourself up for failure. You need to have the package deal, including seeing that person as your best friend either at the start or in the future.
Relationships are not supposed to be deceiving, scandalous, heartbreaking, destructive parts of our life, even though so often they end up being so. Being in a relationship is supposed to be the best time of your life. The BEST! And if it's not, you are working a lot harder than you should.
Pick a partner whom you can tell anything to, and I mean anything. Now, I don't mean go on a rant and tell your partner every aspect of your life, but he/she needs to be someone you don't have to hide anything from. (Please, don't go rush into a life story with your partner. There will be plenty of time for that.)
NO LYING! Lying ruins relationships. Lying IS cheating, deceiving, withholding the whole truth, telling white lies, etc. And if you find yourself lying to your partner, you are slowly breaking your relationship to pieces. Why should that person trust you? Think about it. And if they lie to you, too, then why are you with them? Lying, also, ruins marriages. (Again, never been married, but it would ruin mine.)
You should never feel trapped with your partner. If it's a Friday night, and you'd rather be galavanting and meeting hotties than with your man or woman, you know what to do. Save your partner the heartache. You should not feel like you're in jail or that he/she is trying to control you. If you have found the right person, every minute with your partner will be worthwhile: watching a movie, going for a run, spending a night out on the town, etc. And I mean every minute. Even though you will spend hours away from this person on a daily basis (for reasons like work and other priorities), you will embrace the hours you get with him/her.
Any issues you will have with your partner will not be break-up worthy if they are your best friend. Speaking of, that's something to think about: how many times have you had break-up worthy issues with whomever your best friend is outside of your relationship? Probably few to none. Now, I'm not saying every relationship with your best friend lasts forever because in fact, people do change, times change, personalities change, and so on. I'm just giving a few tips on how to pick the RIGHT partner.
So here's the lowdown. When picking a partner, remember this person should be at least a few of the following TO YOU:
Pick the right partner (boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever you call it). There IS a reason why this isn't titled 'Pick the right husband'. I am not married, have no children, and have never been in a relationship longer than two years. I have no marriage advice or insight for anyone because I have never been in that position. I have opinions, and that is all. This just pertains to picking the right partner. Heck, this could even be titled 'Pick the right people in your life'. Same thing.
Who you spend your time with, and who you pick to be in your life directly reflects who you are. Whether or not you want to believe this, it is true. It is important to choose your friends and partner wisely. You can't make yourself like someone so stop trying. Even though you may not want to be outspoken about it, you know who your best friends are, you know who your "friends" are, and you know who your acquaintances are. Your best friends bring out the best in you, and you can be yourself at all times with these people. You tolerate your "friends", even though you know they aren't your best friends. And you see your acquaintances from time to time.
When you pick a partner, you should not only pick someone you're into, someone you are attracted to, and someone you enjoy being around, but you should pick your BEST FRIEND. They have to be more than good looking, interesting, and fun. Otherwise, you will hit a lot of dead ends with this person, and could set yourself up for failure. You need to have the package deal, including seeing that person as your best friend either at the start or in the future.
Relationships are not supposed to be deceiving, scandalous, heartbreaking, destructive parts of our life, even though so often they end up being so. Being in a relationship is supposed to be the best time of your life. The BEST! And if it's not, you are working a lot harder than you should.
Pick a partner whom you can tell anything to, and I mean anything. Now, I don't mean go on a rant and tell your partner every aspect of your life, but he/she needs to be someone you don't have to hide anything from. (Please, don't go rush into a life story with your partner. There will be plenty of time for that.)
NO LYING! Lying ruins relationships. Lying IS cheating, deceiving, withholding the whole truth, telling white lies, etc. And if you find yourself lying to your partner, you are slowly breaking your relationship to pieces. Why should that person trust you? Think about it. And if they lie to you, too, then why are you with them? Lying, also, ruins marriages. (Again, never been married, but it would ruin mine.)
You should never feel trapped with your partner. If it's a Friday night, and you'd rather be galavanting and meeting hotties than with your man or woman, you know what to do. Save your partner the heartache. You should not feel like you're in jail or that he/she is trying to control you. If you have found the right person, every minute with your partner will be worthwhile: watching a movie, going for a run, spending a night out on the town, etc. And I mean every minute. Even though you will spend hours away from this person on a daily basis (for reasons like work and other priorities), you will embrace the hours you get with him/her.
Any issues you will have with your partner will not be break-up worthy if they are your best friend. Speaking of, that's something to think about: how many times have you had break-up worthy issues with whomever your best friend is outside of your relationship? Probably few to none. Now, I'm not saying every relationship with your best friend lasts forever because in fact, people do change, times change, personalities change, and so on. I'm just giving a few tips on how to pick the RIGHT partner.
So here's the lowdown. When picking a partner, remember this person should be at least a few of the following TO YOU:
- Attractive
- Fun
- Trustworthy
- Loyal
- Loving
- Best friend material
- Gets along with your family (unless your family's crazy)
- Supportive
- Faithful
- Giving
- Honest
- Brings out the best in you
...including being or becoming your best friend, hence the 'best friend material' point.
I'm not perfect. I have no relationship expertise certificate. I've had my share of breakups and miserable relationships, and I've had my share of good memories. But I have found the right partner who makes me a better ME! I don't put promise on the future-I just hope to spend my life with the RIGHT person. And these are just a few pointers to finding the RIGHT partner. No promises that the right partner will last forever because we all know life can change in an instant. But I promise this post will help you on your journey to finding that person.
Partner=Best friend and more.
Partner=Best friend and more.
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