With the Angels

My great-grandma is now with the angels above. And as she is laid to rest today, I feel the need to share this story. I've only shared it with one other person so far.

Driving to church this past Sunday morning, we drove by a sign on the side of the highway that read Jesus is coming soon. I didn't want to jinx mine or my guy's flight home that day, so I said nothing about it. It really did pull at my heart once I found out my great grandmother has passed. Jesus really did come soon-less than an hour later to be exact. I am blessed to have seen her over Christmas break, gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and told her I loved her.

There are so many meaningful moments in our everyday life. There are so many precious people on our lives, as well, that we may take for granted, or not realize how important we are to them or how important they are to us. Always strive to be the BEST you, and you will shine.

Rest with the angels Momma-Neen. You are dearly loved and missed.

Stay on your game folks!

"Do not accept criticism in your life as a reason to keep you down. That would be like my father quitting preaching because someone disapproves of him or Michael Jordan quitting basketball when he didn't make the team. Stay on your game folks!" 

So true. I recently read something sent to my father that was just plain cruel, and it made me think, what if he listened? What if he listened to criticism and harsh words? I have learned that my father does not react to cruelty. He may take generous consideration, but he will not stop doing what he loves or standing up for what he thinks is right. I used to be a people-pleaser which is someone who makes sure everyone else is happier but their own self. I never wanted to cause trouble or be the center of a problem. And in some ways I'm still like that. But in more ways, I'm becoming an individual. I have opinions, I have thoughts, and most importantly I have reason. I am learning what is healthy and what is not. The poison in my life may be the best thing in your life. Everyone is different and everyone needs a different formula. I am someone who needs grounded people in my life, or at least as many grounded people possible. My guy happens to be very grounded, something I find hard to be. There are many reasons for this such as moving around as a child, learning to adapt to new things, nothing ever staying the same, having all eyes on me at all times as a preacher's kid, high expectations-all of these circumstances make up my eventful, fast-paced life. The formula to keeping my head on straight and having the fullest and healthiest lifestyle possible is probably different than yours. I've seen friends and family who've had divorced families, sibling issues, addictions, whatever the case may be, and they need a different formula to keep their life on track. They may need a certain kind of partner in their life to stay balanced or they may need to be working on a project at all times or they may need to stay away from certain places that promote their addiction. So before you judge anyone, or try to figure out the who, what, when, where, how, and why in their lives, take a step back and recognize that their picture is different than yours. Every individual has different demons, different angels, and a different formula. Remember that next time before passing a judgment. Take any criticism given to you, have grace, and have the courage to keep going.

Side note: I found a lot of success today. I spent the day with myself, getting priorities done, and I didn't drive myself crazy. I tried my best to enjoy the precious time I had with myself that I don't get as often as I should. Score. 

50 Lessons of 2012

1. Save your money. You never know what could come up at what time.
2. It's OK to put your dog down as devastating as it is. All dogs go to heaven, and I would never want my dog to suffer a long, painful death before getting there.  
3. Puppies make you happy. 
4. Family are a blessing. They have seen your best and your worst, and they're still your family. 
5. Friends should bring out the best in you. If not, re-evaluate your friendships.
6. Your significant other should, also, bring out the best in you.
7. Be slow to speak and quick to listen as much as possible.  (I know, it's hard.)
8. Swallow your pride.
9. You are not perfect, stop trying to be or seem so. 
10. Make sure you check who you are sending a text to, before you send it to the wrong person.
11. Put your phone away on a date, at dinner with your fam, and when you go to sleep. 
12. Relax.
13. It's OK to be unavailable to your cell phone and available to the people you are spending time with. 
14. When picking out heels, make sure you can dance in them. You won't look like you're doin' the stanky leg the whole night. 
15. Drinking enough to puke is not fun, and not attractive. (I know, what a change from college.)
16. Your parents and grandparents DO know what they're talking about. 
17. Find a hobby and stick to it. Ex. Workout class at your gym, biking, train to run a marathon, collect rocks, read every Cosmo for that year-basically whatever floats your boat.
18. From The Happiness Project: Act the way you want to feel. Still learning this, but it's so true.  If you're feelin' cruddy, there's no reason to drag anyone else down with you. You will sleep better knowing you didn't let your negativity get the best of you or anyone else. Act happier than you feel, and you will, in return, feel happier.
19. Make sure you see a future in your career. If you are working a job that feels pointless and unproductive to you, chances are it probably is. Find a career YOU are HAPPY with. And you will be happier. 
20. Take care of yourself. Getting sick is never fun. Drink that OJ, and eat well. 
21. Think before you act. (...another simple one that is still tough.)
22. Make time for yourself. This should be a PRIORITY!
23. Set long-term and short-term goals.
24. You ARE enough.
25. Keep in touch with friends-distant or close.
26. Do not be afraid to fall in love and set your life off track. Love is meant to do that. (Eat, Pray, Love)
27. Do not push away your significant other. That person is ON YOUR SIDE.
28. Lying gets you nowhere.
29. Accept your imperfections.
30. It is important to believe in something.
31. Your socks don't have to match.
32. Try to refrain from gossip whenever you can. Gossip is basically murder to your friendships and relationships. 
33. It's OK to want more money.
34. Pick a close friend or family member that you can fully trust and rely on. That's the person to vent to-not the whole world. 
35. Your business is your business. Keep it to yourself. 
36. Take pictures of anything you find beautiful.
37. Show up. A majority of being a good friend, good acquaintance, and a good family member is showing up.
38. Birthdays do count. If anything, make sure to share birthdays with as many friends and family members as you can. 
39. Send Christmas cards-a nice, simple way to keep in touch with those who are far away. (Your address book and Christmas card list will grow every year.)
40. Speak and think of the past as a previous chapter in your life, not a burden you are carrying around. It's over. Move on.
41. You are the source to your own happiness.
42. When someone hurts you with words, take those words into consideration, and turn them into something positive. 
43. Accept where you are in your life, and don't wish to be anywhere else.
44. Own your mistakes, but do not hold onto them. 
45. When you dress yourself in the morning, wear your style, not anyone else's.
46. Listen to what you feel. (...unless it's that time of the month.)
47. Learn how to cook foods you've never cooked before. 
48. It's OK to splurge on yourself at the mall from time to time. 
49. Smile more, have a bad attitude less.
50. You are alive, and that's reason enough to keep going. 

I could go on for days. 2012 has been a tough reality check for me in many ways. I've learned A LOT, and I'm super excited for what 2013 has in store. Bring in the new year leaving 2012 in the past, ready to embrace what next year has in store. You are the creator of your world, and the writer of your life. Make sure the people in your life are making YOU a better YOU. Stay close to family, count your blessings, and never give up. 2013 here we go!

Partner=Best Friend

I've been wanting to write about this for awhile. But never found the right moment or thought to do so.

Pick the right partner (boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever you call it). There IS a reason why this isn't titled 'Pick the right husband'. I am not married, have no children, and have never been in a relationship longer than two years. I have no marriage advice or insight for anyone because I have never been in that position. I have opinions, and that is all.  This just pertains to picking the right partner. Heck, this could even be titled 'Pick the right people in your life'. Same thing.

Who you spend your time with, and who you pick to be in your life directly reflects who you are. Whether or not you want to believe this, it is true. It is important to choose your friends and partner wisely. You can't make yourself like someone so stop trying. Even though you may not want to be outspoken about it, you know who your best friends are, you know who your "friends" are, and you know who your acquaintances are. Your best friends bring out the best in you, and you can be yourself at all times with these people. You tolerate your "friends", even though you know they aren't your best friends. And you see your acquaintances from time to time.

When you pick a partner, you should not only pick someone you're into, someone you are attracted to, and someone you enjoy being around, but you should pick your BEST FRIEND. They have to be more than good looking, interesting, and fun. Otherwise, you will hit a lot of dead ends with this person, and could set yourself up for failure. You need to have the package deal, including seeing that person as your best friend either at the start or in the future.

Relationships are not supposed to be deceiving, scandalous, heartbreaking, destructive parts of our life, even though so often they end up being so. Being in a relationship is supposed to be the best time of your life. The BEST! And if it's not, you are working a lot harder than you should.

Pick a partner whom you can tell anything to, and I mean anything. Now, I don't mean go on a rant and tell your partner every aspect of your life, but he/she needs to be someone you don't have to hide anything from. (Please, don't go rush into a life story with your partner. There will be plenty of time for that.)

NO LYING! Lying ruins relationships. Lying IS cheating, deceiving, withholding the whole truth, telling white lies, etc. And if you find yourself lying to your partner, you are slowly breaking your relationship to pieces. Why should that person trust you? Think about it. And if they lie to you, too, then why are you with them? Lying, also, ruins marriages. (Again, never been married, but it would ruin mine.)

You should never feel trapped with your partner. If it's a Friday night, and you'd rather be galavanting and meeting hotties than with your man or woman, you know what to do. Save your partner the heartache. You should not feel like you're in jail or that he/she is trying to control you. If you have found the right person, every minute with your partner will be worthwhile: watching a movie, going for a run, spending a night out on the town, etc. And I mean every minute. Even though you will spend hours away from this person on a daily basis (for reasons like work and other priorities), you will embrace the hours you get with him/her.

Any issues you will have with your partner will not be break-up worthy if they are your best friend. Speaking of, that's something to think about: how many times have you had break-up worthy issues with whomever your best friend is outside of your relationship? Probably few to none. Now, I'm not saying every relationship with your best friend lasts forever because in fact, people do change, times change, personalities change, and so on. I'm just giving a few tips on how to pick the RIGHT partner.

So here's the lowdown. When picking a partner, remember this person should be at least a few of the following TO YOU:

• Attractive 
• Fun
• Trustworthy
• Loyal
• Loving
• Best friend material
• Gets along with your family (unless your family's crazy)
• Supportive
• Faithful
• Giving
• Honest
• Brings out the best in you

...including being or becoming your best friend, hence the 'best friend material' point. 

I'm not perfect. I have no relationship expertise certificate. I've had my share of breakups and miserable relationships, and I've had my share of good memories. But I have found the right partner who makes me a better ME! I don't put promise on the future-I just hope to spend my life with the RIGHT person. And these are just a few pointers to finding the RIGHT partner. No promises that the right partner will last forever because we all know life can change in an instant. But I promise this post will help you on your journey to finding that person.

Partner=Best friend and more.

YOU.

Be YOU. Do YOU. Love YOU. Enjoy YOU.

And most of all, stay YOU.

Being Bored can be a Blessing

My parents always referred to me as their party girl since I was born on a Friday night: the girl who always likes to have fun, always likes to be in party mode, and always likes to have something to do. I hate being bored. I grew up playing a variety of sports, mainly soccer, which made it very easy to stay busy, leaving little to no time to be bored. There have been many transitions throughout the past year from my family moving away, to being tight on expenses, to finding my place in the workforce, to my social life declining (which I have found to be normal?). I have spent many Friday nights in watching movies in hopes to save money and many weekday nights full of boredom. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. So I've been told.

Part of growing up is learning more about YOU: what you do when you're bored, who you are when no one's watching, actions you take to better yourself, how you choose to handle situations, etc. What do you do when you're bored? In my life, working out doesn't count towards what I do when I'm bored because that is a part of my daily life. Tonight, I was supposed to be attending another yoga class with a friend, but she ended up not being able to go. I could have still attended, but I spent a few hours at the gym, only to find myself bored after my workout. What did I do? I turned on my old i-pod that hasn't been updated in about two years, cooked breakfast food for dinner, and made gingerbread cookies. Not only did I cook, I turned up my i-pod and sang my heart out. No, the roommate didn't have to suffer through my cooking concert tonight, but I sure hope the neighbors enjoyed it. I had a blast, even though I was bored. And that is the first time I have ever cooked bacon and eggs for dinner by myself. I found joy in the quiet moment I had with myself tonight, turned up the music, and enjoyed my surroundings. 

You don't necessarily have to do the same thing. But I encourage you to try this: Next time you're bored, instead of calling your phone contacts to find something to do, or sitting on Facebook for the night, try just enjoying yourself. You need to get to know yourself during these years. These may be the last years you get time to yourself (assuming you want to get married and have kids-or one of these, or none of these).

Being bored can be a blessing, too. 

Be Loving

I have found yet another The Happiness Project quote to remember. The chapter regarding friendships includes a complete rundown of what to do to make your friendships strong and long-lasting. In this, Rubin includes a page of personal commandments that were sent to her by her readers. One that stuck out to me: Be loving and love will find you. 

There are many challenges every single day in my life and in yours that can make having a loving attitude very hard. I encourage you to fight this battle with me. I have a huge attitude that I try to keep to myself, I'm VERY stubborn, and I sometimes find it hard to be loving. Even if we feel as though we are loving enough, I can almost promise you that you can never love enough. Think about it. There is always something you wish you would've done: sent out Christmas cards the year before, remembered your friend's birthday, showed more affection, kept in touch with those you grew up with, etc. I've caught myself numerous times turning down a grocery isle, seeing someone I know, and turning right back around because I didn't feel like saying hello and engaging in quick conversation. Just pathetic on my part. To others, you ARE what they remember about you. If you are snotty and catty, you will be remembered as that. If you seem uninterested when you run into an old friend, that friend will remember that. If you ditch a birthday party or baby shower you RSVP'd to, that won't be forgotten (at least until the next one). If you lie, you will be remembered as a liar. If you are loving, you will be known as loving. I promise. When I think of old college friends or someone I used to know, I usually remember each person as I left them: college graduation or my last high school soccer game or a run-in with an old friend at Walgreens last week (I usually see someone I know every time I go to Walgreens, no joke). Leave a loving, lasting impression. Be who you want to be remembered as. 

I believe that good things come to good people. Now, I'm not saying that bad things don't happen because they do, inevitably. However, if you are loving, God will bless you with love, whether it be love in your family, friendships, or romantic relationships. If you love, you will be loved. Be loving and love will find you.

Yesterday's Mess

Never bring yesterday's mess into today. EVER. Yesterday happened for a reason, but there's a reason that everyday is a new day.

I have read many articles on sleeping off your stress or hitting the gym for a good workout after a day of chaos. And both are said to work. Every time I'm drowning in stress (and yes, sometimes you will feel overwhelmed in your 20s), I have learned to go to sleep that night, instead of staying up dwelling on it. Even when I get upset at someone, once I get a good night's rest, I usually feel much better the next day. And it shouldn't be hard to fall asleep on those nights because you should be super tired from all the emotion you've been feeling that day. Emotion is exhausting and so is overthinking. So say you're stressed at work, or stressing all day about your upcoming bills, or someone just utterly pissed you off-that's tiring enough to put you to sleep. And I promise, sleep will help you feel better. Then, the next day you can decide what to do about whichever situation, with a clearer mind than the day before.

However, if you stay up dwelling on your day/situation or cursing out that person on the phone that just upset you, you won't get a good night's rest, and the next day you'll be tired, bringing negative emotion into your day. I'm begging you to do yourself a favor and don't do this! You may have had a bad day, but don't prolong that bad day into the next few days. Leave that mess where it is.

I have found that my evening tidy-up has been so refreshing in the morning. Beyond belief. It's the same concept of 'Never bring yesterday's mess into today'. So true, even for objects. Clean up your mess from the day because the next day will bring its own mess, and you shouldn't have to clean up two messes.

Money Saving tip for the day: Lunch break? Don't eat out every day!

This whole week, I have either packed a lunch, or ate at home. I know some of you don't have either option, but if you can go home for lunch or pack a lunch, do so! You'll feel much better having saved $40-$50 a week (sometimes more!).

Goal setter, Go-getter

Time to be that goal setter, go-getter! It's never too late. And there is never a "right time" to start. New years is about a month away. Yea? So what. New years is a cliche, typical day to start something new. But, that doesn't mean it will stick just because you started on the first of the year. Don't wait another month to get started.

My goals constantly run through my head on a daily basis. I'm consistently thinking of the next big accomplishment I can pursue or the next big project of mine or the next big item/event to save up for. I have read in multiple books and have been told numerous times-WRITE down your goals! For some reason, we find validation in writing. Think about it. Signing a contract is validation because all the ins and outs are written down. Writing a journal is validation for those secrets and precious moments in your life. So I encourage you to write it down. Take a minute, without exhausting your brain, and jot down a few goals you have for December. Heck, even for next week!

Wait a minute! Stop right there. Remember to jot down goals for December and December only! This process becomes exhausting when you start writing down long term goals. In my opinion, long term goals are extremely important to keep in mind, but don't put all your expectations on those goals happening when and how you want them to. The thing is, being in your mid-20s, you are probably not married (although, many folks are), in a job situation that could change day to day, and living in temporary circumstances. My life has changed drastically since college graduation. And I mean immensely. I stopped talking to the college ex, moved home, my family moved away, worked many jobs, started grad school, took a break from grad school, lost friends, gained friends, moved into my own apartment, found a love story of my own, learned to cook more than just mac n' cheese and cookies, accepted that I am now a soccer coach and not a soccer player, and the list goes on and on. Needless to say, our lives are not set in stone at this age YET. Who knows if our lives will ever be set in stone. Instead of focusing on your long term goals, focus on what you can do now. Embrace the mystery of these years, where they will take you, who you will become. 

I hope when I'm out of my 20's, I can look back at this blog and find my advice to be worth while. They call these the selfish years. Yes, think about YOU and what you can get out of your 20s. But still embrace your surroundings and the people that were put in your life, be kind and gentle to others, and keep on learning. That's pretty unselfish if you ask me.

Goal for this week: Start a blog.
Goal for next week: Wake up early and get that workout in BEFORE work.
(Writing this down to validate my goal for next week. Time to become a morning person.)

True Adulthood

Words of wisdom! Keep truckin' to where you want to be! True adulthood: love yourself.

"Accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher..."

Happy Thursday! Not. What a morning. I work with children, and anyone with experience in the education and child development fields KNOW how different kids can be one day to the next. I still find it so alluring but yet amusing how my 'troublemaker' child can be well-behaved one random day, and my 'superstar' child can be a wreck that same day. Then I realized, nothing has changed since I was five-years-old. Even now, one day I can be joyful and happy, and the next day I can turn into a complete mad woman. Lesson learned, do not write anyone off based on one day or one simple moment. Yes, first impressions are always key, but they are not always accurate. 

Today, try to give that annoying somebody a chance. Maybe there's a coworker you completely despise. Try grabbing lunch with that person. At least give that person an hour of your time to redeem themselves.

Another Eat, Pray, Love quote for today:

"...if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared-most of all-to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself....then truth will not be withheld from you."

I try to remember this EVERY day with every person I come in contact with, whether they are five years old, or fifty. This has really helped me become more loving to those around me, even when my first thought was to write them off. I've come to the realization that the people I cannot stand the most are usually a mirror image of what I don't like or what I used to not like about myself. Not in every case, but definitely in some. Now these people are teaching me, and I'm the student still learning at age twenty-three. There is no age limit on learning, and we are never too old to continue to grow as an individual. 

I'll say it again, and I'll mean it this time. HAPPY THURSDAY! And look at every moment today as a part of a journey, and every person as a teacher. 

Any great experiences today pertaining to this blog? Feel free to leave comments. I'd LOVE to hear from you and read YOUR story!