I believe it is time I start writing again. Wow, has it been what feels like forever. I initially stopped writing because the "Relationship" chapter of my Happiness Project began in February, and lets face it, I keep my relationship private. That's my way of protecting my relationship.
Some has changed, but most has not. I changed jobs to a current sales position that I enjoy very much. You learn a lot in sales. Everything else is pretty much the same. However, it IS warmer outside, I have a new car, and my four goldfish are still alive.
There is one thing I've observed over the past few months (again) that I'd like to share with you. A majority of my everyday life is spent working, working out, seeing friends, building my relationship, missing my family, etc. And EVERY tough situation, pickle, or adversity that I see people face, usually has to do with the same thing: Lying. This may be a repeat post, but I urge you to please listen up on this topic. Marriages end, friendships die, relationships break up, you go crazy, you become guilty and insecure, and you are paranoid. Nothing good comes from lying. And the lying I'm talking about does not include telling your friend she doesn't look fat when she may or not admitting to eating the last cookie. I'm talking about serious lying. Lying that breaks hearts, leaves scars, and leaves you in turmoil.
If you have to lie to someone either: a) just don't do it, you'll regret it later. or b) STOP LIVING A LIFE YOU HAVE TO LIE ABOUT. Now, no one is perfect, and everyone has their fair share of lying experience. But I just don't understand it. I don't have any polls or statistics on this, but it just seems like a majority of friendship and relationship problems that you face have everything to do with lying. Why do you want to have so many secrets? Why are you so ashamed? Why do you act upon situations that you have to lie about? Why must you lie to the people you say you love the most? I'm not a judge, or a jury for that matter. What you lie about is entirely up to you. You and I both know that life is much easier when you don't have to lie. So next time you are in a situation that you have to lie about, think twice about the possible outcome if you're caught. And think about how much time you are going to have to spend building up broken trust.
And lastly, if you are a pathological liar, or a frequent liar, who do you think you're fooling? It's not like your surroundings don't catch on to your lies, especially those close to you. You may be caught, and you don't even know it. Your friends and significant other could be trying to piece together your lies and soak in the betrayal you have shown. And now you'll be up all night wondering if you're caught and just don't know it yet.
See, lying sucks. In my opinion, lying is murder to life.
Showing posts with label #relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #relationship. Show all posts
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Partner=Best Friend
I've been wanting to write about this for awhile. But never found the right moment or thought to do so.
Pick the right partner (boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever you call it). There IS a reason why this isn't titled 'Pick the right husband'. I am not married, have no children, and have never been in a relationship longer than two years. I have no marriage advice or insight for anyone because I have never been in that position. I have opinions, and that is all. This just pertains to picking the right partner. Heck, this could even be titled 'Pick the right people in your life'. Same thing.
Who you spend your time with, and who you pick to be in your life directly reflects who you are. Whether or not you want to believe this, it is true. It is important to choose your friends and partner wisely. You can't make yourself like someone so stop trying. Even though you may not want to be outspoken about it, you know who your best friends are, you know who your "friends" are, and you know who your acquaintances are. Your best friends bring out the best in you, and you can be yourself at all times with these people. You tolerate your "friends", even though you know they aren't your best friends. And you see your acquaintances from time to time.
When you pick a partner, you should not only pick someone you're into, someone you are attracted to, and someone you enjoy being around, but you should pick your BEST FRIEND. They have to be more than good looking, interesting, and fun. Otherwise, you will hit a lot of dead ends with this person, and could set yourself up for failure. You need to have the package deal, including seeing that person as your best friend either at the start or in the future.
Relationships are not supposed to be deceiving, scandalous, heartbreaking, destructive parts of our life, even though so often they end up being so. Being in a relationship is supposed to be the best time of your life. The BEST! And if it's not, you are working a lot harder than you should.
Pick a partner whom you can tell anything to, and I mean anything. Now, I don't mean go on a rant and tell your partner every aspect of your life, but he/she needs to be someone you don't have to hide anything from. (Please, don't go rush into a life story with your partner. There will be plenty of time for that.)
NO LYING! Lying ruins relationships. Lying IS cheating, deceiving, withholding the whole truth, telling white lies, etc. And if you find yourself lying to your partner, you are slowly breaking your relationship to pieces. Why should that person trust you? Think about it. And if they lie to you, too, then why are you with them? Lying, also, ruins marriages. (Again, never been married, but it would ruin mine.)
You should never feel trapped with your partner. If it's a Friday night, and you'd rather be galavanting and meeting hotties than with your man or woman, you know what to do. Save your partner the heartache. You should not feel like you're in jail or that he/she is trying to control you. If you have found the right person, every minute with your partner will be worthwhile: watching a movie, going for a run, spending a night out on the town, etc. And I mean every minute. Even though you will spend hours away from this person on a daily basis (for reasons like work and other priorities), you will embrace the hours you get with him/her.
Any issues you will have with your partner will not be break-up worthy if they are your best friend. Speaking of, that's something to think about: how many times have you had break-up worthy issues with whomever your best friend is outside of your relationship? Probably few to none. Now, I'm not saying every relationship with your best friend lasts forever because in fact, people do change, times change, personalities change, and so on. I'm just giving a few tips on how to pick the RIGHT partner.
So here's the lowdown. When picking a partner, remember this person should be at least a few of the following TO YOU:
Pick the right partner (boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever you call it). There IS a reason why this isn't titled 'Pick the right husband'. I am not married, have no children, and have never been in a relationship longer than two years. I have no marriage advice or insight for anyone because I have never been in that position. I have opinions, and that is all. This just pertains to picking the right partner. Heck, this could even be titled 'Pick the right people in your life'. Same thing.
Who you spend your time with, and who you pick to be in your life directly reflects who you are. Whether or not you want to believe this, it is true. It is important to choose your friends and partner wisely. You can't make yourself like someone so stop trying. Even though you may not want to be outspoken about it, you know who your best friends are, you know who your "friends" are, and you know who your acquaintances are. Your best friends bring out the best in you, and you can be yourself at all times with these people. You tolerate your "friends", even though you know they aren't your best friends. And you see your acquaintances from time to time.
When you pick a partner, you should not only pick someone you're into, someone you are attracted to, and someone you enjoy being around, but you should pick your BEST FRIEND. They have to be more than good looking, interesting, and fun. Otherwise, you will hit a lot of dead ends with this person, and could set yourself up for failure. You need to have the package deal, including seeing that person as your best friend either at the start or in the future.
Relationships are not supposed to be deceiving, scandalous, heartbreaking, destructive parts of our life, even though so often they end up being so. Being in a relationship is supposed to be the best time of your life. The BEST! And if it's not, you are working a lot harder than you should.
Pick a partner whom you can tell anything to, and I mean anything. Now, I don't mean go on a rant and tell your partner every aspect of your life, but he/she needs to be someone you don't have to hide anything from. (Please, don't go rush into a life story with your partner. There will be plenty of time for that.)
NO LYING! Lying ruins relationships. Lying IS cheating, deceiving, withholding the whole truth, telling white lies, etc. And if you find yourself lying to your partner, you are slowly breaking your relationship to pieces. Why should that person trust you? Think about it. And if they lie to you, too, then why are you with them? Lying, also, ruins marriages. (Again, never been married, but it would ruin mine.)
You should never feel trapped with your partner. If it's a Friday night, and you'd rather be galavanting and meeting hotties than with your man or woman, you know what to do. Save your partner the heartache. You should not feel like you're in jail or that he/she is trying to control you. If you have found the right person, every minute with your partner will be worthwhile: watching a movie, going for a run, spending a night out on the town, etc. And I mean every minute. Even though you will spend hours away from this person on a daily basis (for reasons like work and other priorities), you will embrace the hours you get with him/her.
Any issues you will have with your partner will not be break-up worthy if they are your best friend. Speaking of, that's something to think about: how many times have you had break-up worthy issues with whomever your best friend is outside of your relationship? Probably few to none. Now, I'm not saying every relationship with your best friend lasts forever because in fact, people do change, times change, personalities change, and so on. I'm just giving a few tips on how to pick the RIGHT partner.
So here's the lowdown. When picking a partner, remember this person should be at least a few of the following TO YOU:
- Attractive
- Fun
- Trustworthy
- Loyal
- Loving
- Best friend material
- Gets along with your family (unless your family's crazy)
- Supportive
- Faithful
- Giving
- Honest
- Brings out the best in you
...including being or becoming your best friend, hence the 'best friend material' point.
I'm not perfect. I have no relationship expertise certificate. I've had my share of breakups and miserable relationships, and I've had my share of good memories. But I have found the right partner who makes me a better ME! I don't put promise on the future-I just hope to spend my life with the RIGHT person. And these are just a few pointers to finding the RIGHT partner. No promises that the right partner will last forever because we all know life can change in an instant. But I promise this post will help you on your journey to finding that person.
Partner=Best friend and more.
Partner=Best friend and more.
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