It's time to begin isn't it

Put all your stress aside, your mind at ease, and your heart centered. Are you happy with where you're at? So many may say yes, but so many may say no, and there will be many that will think not as happy as I could be. That's what I woke up thinking one morning after reading The Happiness Project, and that's what got me blogging.

If you are in your mid-20s, folks, this is PRIME TIME in your life. Time to find yourself, what you like and don't like, what you enjoy and don't enjoy, time to ponder and really take control of where your life is going. Now, anyone who is older and younger, it's never too late or too soon. But I'm sure many who are older will agree: Your 20s are YOURS. Whatever you make of your 20s will define the rest of your life. (I'm sure this goes for many other seasons in life, as well.) This, also, is a GREAT time to work AS HARD as you can. Next thing you know, you're married, busy, having children, and have NO time to yourself. That's why I am choosing to really cherish these years. They aren't easy, as I've written before. Nothing can prepare you for post-college. Not even college can prepare for post-college life. Sorry folks. I don't think anyone expects to work a 9-5 the rest of their life, and settle into the first job they get. I don't think anyone likes the reality of your income going towards college bills, car payments, keeping your health good, and so on. I have recently been told Instead of wishing it were easier, make yourself better. I don't exactly wish it were easier. I wish the world went round' differently, and starving kids could eat, and every married couple would be happy, and homeless people had a home, and murderers didn't exist, and that everyone is safe in their own home, and President's wouldn't lie. I wish a lot of things, but I seldom wish it were easier. Sometimes I wish I were in someone else's shoes, someone who DOES have it easier. But at the same time, I am truly blessed, and I'm happy to be where I'm at.

My mind always wanders off to "what if" or "what I would have done if I would have known then what I know now". Honestly, I probably wouldn't be residing in a northern state, I'd be closer to my family, I wouldn't date in high school or college, I may not have gone to a private college, I might have not trusted the wrong people and trusted the right people, I would have stayed involved in church more, and so on. The list goes on and on. But I truly am blessed. I can't say it enough. I am blessed. I'm alive and well, I feel safe, have a great relationship, have wonderful friends, and I get to visit my family more often than I ever thought I'd be able. And those are things to be thankful for. Yes, I have changed a lot in the last year. Heck, the last five years. Don't be too quick to judge, though. Because I am still Carissa.

"It's time to begin, isn't it?
I get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit
I'm just the same as I was
Now don't you understand
That I'm never changing who I am"
-Imagine Dragons

Start every day brand new, and remember, you are still YOU.

You'll Make It

So far, this month has been super busy. This is very odd, in my opinion, seeing as though I had the whole first week of January off of work. Some days, like today, I feel like I have little time to myself, even though the free time I have is spent with myself getting what needs to be done, done. Here's a tip I've learned from this past year: You will get more done on your work days than your vacation days!

You're probably thinking Wow, that makes no sense. Indeed it does. I am more stressed on the days leading up to vacation than the regular work week. On the days leading up to vacation, I am eager for vacation to arrive! I am constantly thinking relaxation is right around the corner. Then, vacation comes, and as relaxing as it is, I get nothing of priority done. This is because I believe I owe it to myself to not use vacation days for stress or priorities. Maybe I'm on the right track or maybe I'm on the wrong. Either way, when it comes to getting stuff done in my life, it usually happens on a work day, after a long day at work. I think I'm just more in the zone on work days than on my days off. I'm hoping to start up a new project soon having to do with vacationing so keep your eyes and ears open! (EXCITED!)

I really have taken the last few weeks to reflect back on where I was a year ago. Jobless, frustrated, searching for myself. Graduating college is a HUGE accomplishment. Becoming an adult feels like an even bigger accomplishment or adjustment. So much will change, so much HAS changed! I have found when I was in-between jobs, realizing how this adult thing goes, I would quite frequently feel like I had to change something to spice up my life. I died my hair twice in the same year (not normal), got a new piercing, and became persistent on getting my tatoo as soon as possible (still have yet to get it). I changed up my workout routine dozens of times-you name it, I've tried it. I started diets, quit diets, tried different jobs, quit different jobs. Up, down, up, down. That pretty much describes my life a year ago. Keep in mind most of this was the result of my family moving out of state. Those of you who live near or with your families, cherish those moments because one day you will move out, and you will miss it. Family gives you purpose and a sense of belonging. After a long work week, that's a good feeling. And getting used to coming home from work on a Thursday or Friday and looking at that wine bottle on your kitchen counter with a movie in mind will never compare to coming home to your family-to people you know, love, and cherish. So enjoy these days to the fullest. Reality is coming.

If you're where I was a year ago, hold fast. Better days are ahead. I can't promise there won't be storms, but you'll make it. Just like you said you would on graduation day.

Cursed

Oh my goodness. Such a long, productive Tuesday. And I'm feeling the anxiety already from knowing I won't get everything done this week that I want to get done-such as de-cluttering my room (another tip I learned in The Happiness Project). Even though I just moved in a month ago, I'm ready for a de-cluttering date with my me, myself, and I. I should do it on a Monday. Usually, nothing ever happens on a Monday.

So much is on my mind! But I will try to keep it flowing smoothly on here for you. My brain works in ways even I don't understand.

I have a curse-the never feel good enough, always need to work harder, always questioning if I'm doing everything right kind of curse. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've been taught that the sky's the limit. Growing up, I can't remember one person who has ever told me "You can't", "You won't", or "That's an impossible goal". Of course, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who think I couldn't, I wouldn't, or that there are impossible goals in the world for me to attain. We are all pretty guilty of thinking that about someone else. And then we feel guilty for thinking that at all. Because you see, we all have dreams and aspirations. We all have goals, and we all want something. And we never want anyone to rain on our parade. I believe we should all follow our dreams. Where would our world be without people who do so? Would we still have Presidents, Missionaries, Teachers, Musicians, even the creators of delivery pizza? Follow your dreams and work hard. Never question yourself. (I should take my own advice. I'm just better at giving it, rather than taking it.) Remember, you can't hold the whole world on your shoulders. We are just little specs on the Earth, trying to make a difference, and be remembered somehow. Even though I'm cursed, I'm destined to get rid of the insecurity and questions I shoot myself with everyday.

Today, while running across an episode of MTV's series This Is How I Made It, I heard a song by B.o.B. for the first time in my life. Finally looked up the lyrics and surely enough, it has everything to do with what I'm feeling at the moment.

B.o.B. feat. Taylor Swift "Both of Us"

"And even though we always against the odds, These are the things that have molded us, And if life hadn't chosen us, Sometimes I wonder, Where I would have wound up"

Amazing. Outstanding. Beautiful.
Sometimes God has a funny way of getting through to me.

Empowering Women

As I sit here watching the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, the words that come to mind are "Empowering Women". Now, I'm not saying these women are the next U.S. President, Harvard graduate, the next Oprah, or a CEO of a company, but they are beautiful women. And they strut their stuff with confidence, a smile, and a kiss-blow at the end of the runway. I'm so interested in their story (I love the interviews throughout the show), how they got to where they are, and what they love to do for fun in their personal life.

Either way, I love the concept of empowering women, and each of us can be an empowering woman in our own life. You are needed by someone around you. As mentioned before, your job needs you, your family needs you, and your friends need you. And we all have dreams and aspirations. I believe by following those dreams, you will be an empowering woman in your lifetime. You may not see your name in lights, and you may not get your own TV show, but you will inspire and influence someone around you, and to me, that's empowering enough.

So I will leave you with some encouragement for the night: empower yourself. You don't have to have a strict 500-calories-a-day diet plan, exercise non-stop, be looked at by every guy, have the top job in your line of employment, or have a super star child to be an empowering woman. Just be YOU! And find that spark in your own life that attracts the loved ones around you. Light that flame and keep it burnin'.

Turnaround Tuesday

You're halfway through your Tuesday, and you already know if it's going to be a good day or not. I'm halfway through my Tuesday, and it's definitely not my greatest day thus far. Careless mistakes on my part and moody children are not the kind of morning I look forward to.

But I'm still going to try to kick Tuesday's butt. Make it a turnaround Tuesday and turn your bad day into a good one. Stay focused, stay positive, stay on track!